UC-NRLF 


MES 


CO 
ex? 


TO  THE 

PANAAA  -  PACIFIC 
INTERNATIONAL  EXPOSITION 


Gullible 's  Travels 

to  the 

Panama-Pacific 

International 

Exposition 


By 

MOLLIE  SLATER  MERRILL 

n 
San  Francisco,  California 


Copyright  1915  by 
MOLLIE  SLATER  MERRILL 


GULLIBLE'S  TRAVELS. 


In  amaze,  Lost,  I  gaze! 

Can  our  eyes  Eeach  thy  size? 

May  my  lays  Swell  with  praise!        — Swift. 

LATE  I  HAD  NOTICED  that  my  digni- 
fied title  of  "Captain  Gullible"  had  been 
abbreviated  to  the  more  familiar  one  of 
"Cap"  by  many  of  the  younger  occupants 
of  the  Farallones.  This,  with  numerous 
other  slights,  forced  the  conclusion  upon  me  that  while  un- 
willing to  declare  myself  ill-treated,  I  was  being  neglected  to 
the  point  of  contempt.  I  was  born  and  raised  on  this  small 
island  group,  situated  not  many  miles  from  the  Golden  Gate, 
but  that  has  nothing  to  do  with  the  story  of  my  adventures, 
which  I  am  now  about  to  relate. 

I  had  often  looked  longingly  toward  the  mainland,  which 
I  saw  outlined  in  the  distance,  and  believing  that  some  day  it 
would  be  my  good  fortune  to  travel  and  see  more  of  the  world, 
I  had  closely  observed  the  customs  and  manners  of  passengers 
on    the    boats    which,    in  fair 
weather  and  "fowl,"  I  had  in- 
dustriously followed.  I  had  also 
gained  some  knowledge  of  dif- 
ferent languages   by   the   same 
close      observation      and      the 
strength  of  my  memory. 

My  responsibilities  and  active 
duties  had  ceased  upon  the 
death  of  my  little  gray  mate, 
and  I  felt  that  at  last  I  was  in 
a  position  to  satisfy  my  desire 
for  travel  and  scientific  re- 
search. Therefore,  on  the  morn- 
ing of  the  19th  day  of  February, 
1915,  after  waiting  until  the 
other  "gulls"  had  hurried  away 
to  "catch  the  first  boat,"  I  de- 
cided to  leave  the  Farallones, 

firm  in  my  determination  not  to  return  until  I  had  seen  "the 
world"  and  could  come  back  covered  with  glory  and  renown. 

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The  weather  had  been  w6t  and  far  from  pleasant,  but  as  a 
light  breeze  swept  in  from  the  sea  the  bright  beams  of  the 
morning  sun  poured  through  the  Golden  Gate  and  lit  up  the 
prows  of  in-coming  vessels,  which,  I  believed,  portended  a 
bright  future.  I  paused  for  an  instant,  lost  in  admiration 
at  the  wide  sweep  of  sea,  and  sky,  and  shore.  Then  as  I 
carefully  threaded  my  way  through  the  ships  which  lay  at 
anchor,  I  became  conscious  of  SOMETHING  which  lay  before 
me,  something  golden  and  glorious.  As  I  drew  nearer  I  felt 
that  at  last  my  dreams  were  to  be  realized,  for  I  beheld  massed 
palaces  and  spacious  courts  bathed  in  the  rich  colors  of  Nature 
and  the  radiant  adornment  of  art. 

I  could  form  no  idea  of  my  whereabouts,  and  can  give  but 
a  feeble  account  of  what  lay  before  me,  but  the  magnificence, 
the  splendor,  so  far  excelled  anything  I  had  previously  con- 
ceived that  I  could  only  liken  it  to  the  City  of  my  dreams.  The 
central  portion  of  the  site  rose  slightly  above  the  sea,  and  was 
encircled  on  three  sides  by  gently  sloping  ground. 


SECTION    OF    EXPOSITION    YACHT    HARBOR. 

I  entered  from  the  harbor  side,  and  passed  over  immense 
palaces,  which  I  immediately  decided  must  be  the  abode  of 
Royalty.  Through  stupendous  openings  in  the  sides  of  these 
palaces  I  entered  great  avenues  lined  with  palms  and  other 
beautiful  trees.  There  were  also  giant  banks  of  bright  flowers, 
and  huge  pools  of  water.  From  these  avenues  I  looked  into 
splendid  courts,  and  my  artistic  eye  was  in  no  way  offended  by 
the  marvelous  blending  of  color.  I  saw  figures  and  groupings 
of  figures  unlike  any  people  I  had  ever  beheld;  they  were  of 


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such  'pt odig&us  si^e;  theat  7  -jv'ould  have  been  astonished  had  I 
not  already  passed  into  a  stage  which  knew  no  astonishment. 

Too  bewildered  to  pay  attention  to  detail,  and  with  eyes 
almost  weary  with  the  wonder  of  it  all,  I  flew  on.  In  a  won- 
drous pool  I  saw  mirrored  large  pillars  and  arches  of  most 
unusual  coloring.  "Truly  this  is  'classical,'  "  I  mused,  as  I 
went  on  my  way. 

I  was  lost  in  the  mists  of  these  sights  and  sounds,  and 
hardly  knew  the  nature  of  my  own  mind,  but  felt  that  solitude 
was  extremely  necessary  in  order  to  evolve  the  many  puzzling 
questions  with  which  it  was  filled ;  most  of  the  miniature  lakes 
and  lagoons  which  I  had  seen  were  already  inhabited  by 
various  tribes  of  birds  whose  only  taste  in  common  with  mine 
was  water;  but  I  now  saw  before  me  a  Lake  whose  beauty 
filled  me  with  rapture.  It  was  unoccupied,  save  by  a  woman 
of  most  unusual  size ;  her  nationality  was  unknown  to  me,  but 
I  heard  some  one  in  passing  call  her  a  "mermaid."  By  refer- 
ence to  my  pocket  dictionary,  I  found  her  to  be  a  "sea-woman." 
Believing  we  would  be  congenial,  I  took  up  my  abode  in  the 
Lagoon  at  the  east  end  of  what  I  heard  called  "The  Great 
South  Garden." 

I  looked  about  and  must  confess  to  never  having  seen  a 
more  beautiful  sight.  The  country  looked  like  enclosed  fields 
of  a  continuous  garden.  Flowers  were  intermingled  with  trees 
of  a  great  height,  the  whole  compassed  by  a  bright  green  hedge 
fully  twenty-five  feet  high.  From  my  knowledge  of  botany  I 
drew  the  inference  that  it  must  have  been  growing  for  a  great, 
great  many  years. 

I  turned  and  beheld  a  huge  Tower,  the  upper  part  of 
which  seemed  to  take  the  form  of  terraces  that  led  up  to  groups 

of  figures,  the  whole  surmounted 
by  a  miniature  world.  This  Tower 
was  set  with  jewels  which  glit- 
tered like  diamonds.  There  were 
also  domes  and  turrets,  and  from 
one  of  these  the  King  had  descend- 
ed and  was  advancing  toward  me 
mounted  on  an  immense  steed. 

I  hurried  away,  as  it  was  grow- 
ing late,  and  being  exceedingly 
fatigued,  resolved  to  postpone  fur- 
ther explorations  until  the  fol- 
lowing day. 

The  next  morning  I  rose  early,  took  a  dip  in  the  excellent 
bathtub  furnished  by  the  "Hotel  de  Lagoona"  (as  I  termed  my 


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stopping  place),  glanced  into  the  Lake,  which  also  served  me 
as  a  mirror,  and  as  I  drew  back  perfectly  satisfied  with  my 
appearance,  I  was  almost  positive  I  caught  a  glance  of  admira- 
tion in  the  eye  of  the  mermaid. 

When  following  the  boats  I  had  often  heard  learned  men 
discuss  the  problem  of,  "What  Is  Life?"  Strange!  I  had  only 
been  away  from  home  twenty-four  hours,  yet  had  found  the 
solution  of  one  deep  question,  for  surely  THIS  is  Life,  I 
thought,  as  I  strolled  back  and  forth  along  the  "Sea  Wall." 

As  yet  I  did  not  know  the  name  of  this  enchanting  spot. 
I  now  heard  some  one  say,  "Jewel  City."  Right  well  named,  I 
answered,  for  every  column,  spire,  and  turret  seemed  to  flash 
a  tale  of  the  countless  wealth  which  I  believed  must  live  in 
this  favored  City. 

"Oh!  Looka — degul!  looka — degul!"  a  boy  beneath  me 
cried,  as  I  was  taking  a  "bird's-eye"  view  of  the  many  won- 
ders. He  shouted  very  loud,  and  pointed  a  finger  directly  at 
me,  so  I  reasoned  that  he  must  be  a  page,  and  was  making  a 
proclamation  to  the  King  of  my  presence. 

Immediately  the  news  of  my  arrival  seemed  to  spread 
throughout  the  Kingdom.  A  confused  sound  greeted  my  ears. 


OPENING   DAY   CEREMONIES. 

and  prodigous  numbers  of  people  crowded  in  to  see  me.  For 
hours  they  poured  through  enormous  gates.  I  believed  that 
all  the  villages  in  the  country  must  have  been  emptied,  and  I 
began  to  worry  for  fear  business  and  household  duties  were 
being  neglected.  It  was  afterwards  reckoned  that  over  a 


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quarter  of  a  million  people  visited  me  the  first  day  after  my 
arrival. 

All  night  and  during  the  early  morning  hours  I  had  heard 
a  knocking  like  that  of  people  at  work,  and  I  now  saw  a  huge 
stage  capable  of  seating  many  people  erected  in  front  of  the 
wonderful  Tower  set  with  jewels  which  I  heard  was  480  feet 
in  height. 

There  was  now  a  general  shout,  followed  by  frequent  repe- 
titions of  a  word  which  sounded  like,  "Hurrah,  hurrah!"  Then 
a  number  of  people  who  seemed  to  be  persons  of  quality 
mounted  the  stage  and  made  me  long  speeches.  Clearly  they 
were  welcoming  me  to  their  "Jewel  City." 

All  at  once  the  multitude  gave  a  great  shout  between 
pleasure  and  surprise,  the  sun  burst  forth  from  behind  clouds 
nearly  dazzling  their  eyes,  and  at  the  same  time  a  terrific  noise 
was  heard  like  the  bursting  of  a  bomb.  This  was  followed  by 
others.  I  was  so  badly  frightened  that  I  did  not  see  all  that 
occurred,  but  at  the  risk  of  having  my  veracity  questioned,  I 
do  solemnly  assert,  that  from  all  parts  of  that  enchanted 
garden  beautiful  streams  of  water  poured  forth,  many  straight 
in  the  air — fountains,  I  heard  them  called,  but  to  me  it  looked 
as  if  the  inhabitants  of  the  various  lakes  and  lagoons  were 
indulging  in  a  most  refreshing  shower-bath.  There  was  a  great 
deal  of  music,  much  finer  than  any  I  had  ever  heard  on  the 
boats;  flags  were  flying,  and  every  one  in  that  vast  throng 
seemed  glad  and  happy  that  I  was  there. 

Soon  after  noon,  while  taking  a  short  flight,  I  noticed 
thousands  of  faces  turned  upward  apparently  watching  me. 
"Wonderful!  wonderful!"  they  murmured  as  one  person. 
"Such  graceful  sweeps,  and  dips,  and  lines."  Some  remark  was 
made  about  a  "flapping-wing,"  so  I  was  positive  they  were 
.alking  about  me;  and  I  couldn't  but  wonder  what  my  com- 
panions on  the  islands  would  think  could  they  know  of  my 
importance,  and  the  royal  welcome  I  had  received  in  a  city 
which  I  lrnew  could  have  no  equal. 

Glancing  across  the  sky  I  saw  a  strange  object.  It  closely 
resembled  a  bird,  but  was  much  larger  than  anything  I  had 
ever  seen  in  the  air.  Clearly  it  was  trying  to  imitate  as  well 
as  draw  attention  from  me.  I  must  admit  its  imitations  were 
clever,  but  to  my  surprise  I  found  as  I  drew  nearer,  that  wood, 
wire,  and  canvas  were  used  in  its  construction,  rather  than 
bone,  muscle,  and  feathers.  I  wondered  how  the  public  could 
be  so  "gulled"  as  to  believe  this  object  a  bird. 

"Flying  machine!"  "Aeroplane!"  I  heard  them  call.  "One 
of  the  greatest  inventions  of  the  age."  I  turned  my  head  to 


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conceal  a  smile;  what  would  my  ancestors,  who  had  "hatched 
out"  flying  machines  generations  ago,  have  thought  could  they 
have  heard  this  statement? 

During  the  day  I  heard  many  expressions  among  the 
crowd,  which,  without  manifesting  curiosity  or  astonishment, 
I  secretly  wondered  about. 

One  that  I  recall  as  having  heard  very  frequently,  and 
spoken  in  many  different  tongues,  was : 

"It  seems  to  have  sprung  up  over  night,  doesn't  it?"  I 
fully  agreed,  for  as  I  glanced  around  it  seemed  that  necromancy 
MUST  be  responsible  for  this  mysterious  city. 

"Only  think  that  three  years  ago  this  was  all  marsh  and 
tide-water,  without  a  tree  or  plant  upon  it,"  was  another  phrase 
with  which  I  became  most  familiar.  I  was  puzzled,  for  as  I 
looked  over  this  great  mass  of  vegetation,  it  showed  that  its 
growth  had  been  tended  with  fostering  care.  I  saw  the  work 
of  a  man  with  a  well-balanced  mind,  and  high  intellect,  rather 
than  the  wand  of  a  magician.  I  believed  that  TIME,  too,  had 
played  an  important  part  in  bringing  about  this  state  of  per- 
fection, for  I  had  watched  the  slow  growth  of  trees  and  plants 
on  the  islands  for  a  great  many  years.  Each  opening  bud,  each 
unfolding  blossom,  spoke  of  the  skillful  gardener,  yet  magic 
MUST  also  have  been  employed,  if  three  years  ago  these  vast 
acres  were  nothing  but  marsh  and  tide-water. 

"Oh,  what  a  pity  it  can't  last."  I  saw  no  reason  why  I 
should  load  the  minds  of  these  curious  people  from  the  store 
of  my  own  knowledge,  but  I  could  scarce  refrain  from  answer- 
ing in  as  melancholy  a  tone  as  their  own,  that  it  WOULD  last, 
for  it  was  my  intention  to  spend  weeks  and  even  months  of 
profitable  time  here. 

Many  people  also  said:  "Doesn't  it  seem  a  pity  that  those 
beautiful  buildings  have  to  be  torn  down?"  I  repressed  a 
groan  at  their  ignorance  as  I  turned  my  head  and  wondered 
who  could  have  a  mind  to  destroy  such  buildings  as  I  saw 
on  all  sides  of  me. 

I  felt  regretful  as  night  fell,  that  darkness  must  shut  out 
this  splendid  panorama.  Then  without  warning  an  aston- 


Seven 


ishing  thing  happened:  One  by  one  the  palaces,  towers  and 
domes  flashed  upon  my  view;  jewels  sparkled  more  brilliantly 
than  they  had  under  the  sun's  bright  rays.  I  rubbed  my  eyes 
to  see  if  perchance  I  had  fallen  asleep,  or  was  under  some 
enchantment,  for  I  could  see  no  logical  cause  for  this  wondrous 
light.  I  am  ashamed  to  confess  to  such  a  weakness,  but  I  was 
really  frightened. 

Then  what  appeared  to  be  a  terrific  storm  broke.  There 
were  tremendous  crashes,  and  bright  lights  streaked  the  sky. 
Imagination  can  figure  nothing  so  grand,  so  surprising,  and  so 
astonishing.  Ten  thousand  flashes  of  lightning  seemed  to  be 
darting  at  the  same  time  from  every  quarter  of  the  heavens. 
I  now  looked  toward  the  Harbor,  and  saw  silvery  shafts  of 
light  which  seemed  to  come  from  a  central  point,  and  radiated 
like  the  spokes  of  a  wheel,  the  lower  beams  seeming  to  parallel 
the  horizon.  There  were  many  of  these  livid  beams,  and  as 
they  grew  wider  they  came  together  like  a  solid  sheet,  and  the 
great  Celestial  Dome  was  completely  hidden  by  this  radiant 
panoply. 

I  now  saw  huge  jets  of  steam  and  smoke  rising  high  in  the 
heavens,  and  feared  there  was  a  fire;  then  came  glowing  ruby 
lights,  changing  to  green,  purple  and  orange;  every  conceiv- 
able color  and  shade  floated  out  in  broad  streamers  over  the 
city.  I  wondered  if  these  foreign  lights  came  from  a  deep  hole 
in  the  ground  wherein  some  weird  mysterious  colored  sub- 
stance was  burning,  or,  perchance,  I  had  traveled  a  greater 
distance  than  I  knew,  and  had  come  within  range  of  the 
Northern  Lights — the  "Aurora  Borealis" — of  which  I  had 
heard  Captains  speak. 

I  was  awed  and  sought  a  dark  spot  in  which  to  hide;  it 
was  no  use,  the  whole  city  was  radiant.  Finally  I  saw  a  clump 
of  trees  on  a  small  island  where  I  believed  I  would  be  secure 
from  observation.  No  sooner  had  I  hidden  in  their  shadow, 
however,  than  a  near-by  voice  called  out:  That  must  be  the 
"Illustrious  Obscure."  Evidently  my  fame  had  preceded  me. 
Just  then  a  bright  shaft  of  light  struck  me  full  in  the  face. 
Some  one  called  it  a  "Search-light,"  and  I  knew  the  King 
must  be  looking  for  me.  Reassured  by  the  cries  of  delight  of 
the  assembled  multitude  I  came  forth  and  stayed  out  much 
later  than  my  accustomed  bed-time. 

"How  many  jewels  are  there  in  the  Tower?"  I  heard  this 
question  asked  many  times,  and  decided  that  it  must  be  one  of 
the  leading  questions  of  the  day.  Suddenly  I  thought  of  a  way 
in  which  I  might  be  of  eminent  service,  for  I  felt  bound  by  the 
law  of  gratitude  to  in  some  way  repay  these  people  who  had 


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treated  me  with  so  much  munificence  and  expense.  I  believed 
this  Tower  to  be  one  of  the  seven  wonders  of  the  world,  and 
resolved  to  count,  and  deliver  to  the  King,  the  exact  number 
of  jewels  in  it,  for  I  saw  no  other  way  for  him  to  obtain  this 
information,  and  I  would  at  the  same  time  cover  myself  with 
honor  and  glory. 


TO   THE    ILLUSTRIOUS    OBSCURE —  ASPIRATION — 

That    living    stream    flowing    as    from  Spirit  Immortal  by  the  Joy  of  Labor  and 

the   clouds.  Sympathy   with   Nature   as  by   Winds 

Renewing  and   glorifying  the   ages.  and    Waters    sunward    bourne. 


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At  sunrise  the  next  morning  I  began  my  task.  The  city 
was  visited  each  day  by  vast  throngs  of  people,  but  I  am  sure 
none  of  them  had  the  least  knowledge  of  my  intention.  But 
when  they  saw  me  circling  round  and  round  the  globe  on  the 


very  top  of  that  great  Tower,  they  were  at  first  confounded 
with  astonishment;  then  as  they  saw  my  design,  the  whole 
assemblage  would  at  times  set  up  wild  bursts  of  applause. 
After  I  had  for  some  time  entertained  them,  to  their  infinite 
satisfaction  and  surprise,  I  began  to  feel  weary ;  accordingly  I 
removed  my  spectacles,  lighted  on  the  space  between  the 
second  and  third  terraces  and  rested  for  an  hour.  I  found  some 
of  these  spaces  peopled  by  a  strange  race.  However,  my 


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duties  were  not  to  chronicle  their  peculiar  manners  and  cus- 
toms, though  will  mention  that  both  ladies  and  courtiers  were 
richly  clad,  so  presumed  they  were  persons  of  importance  and 
possessed  of  great  wealth. 

As  night  came  on  I  found  I  had  hardly  begun,  but  so 
earnest  was  my  desire  to  finish  my  task  that  I  decided  to  con- 
tinue far  into  the  night  if  need  be ;  but  those  gorgeous  lights  so 
blinded  me  that  I  couldn't  distinguish  an  emerald  from  a 
diamond ;  sapphires  and  topaz  all  looked  alike.  I  swayed  and 
swirled,  fluttered  down  toward  the  earth,  then  struggled  back. 
I  heard  the  cries  of  many  hundreds  of  people,  and  as  I  flew 
toward  the  bay  I  found  that  the  King  and  his  entire  Court 
stood  on  the  shore,  evidently  waiting  the  issue  of  my  great 
undertaking.  I  informed  them  in  a  loud  voice  that  the  many 
colored  lights  greatly  interfered  with  my  work,  but  that  I 
would  resume  in  the  morning. 

On  the  morning  of  the  fourth  day  I  was  greatly  pained  at 
my  appearance  as  I  glanced  into  my  mirror;  I  also  detected  a 
glance  of  sympathy  in  the  eye  of  the  mermaid. 

At  this  moment  two  very  sweet  little  girls  passed  my  hotel. 

"I'll  wager  that  you  don't  know  how  many  jewels  there 
are  in  that  Tower,"  one  of  them  said. 

"Oh,  yes  I  do;  there  are  125,000." 

I  was  confounded.  "How  in  the  world  do  you  suppose 
they  found  out?"  I  said,  turning  to  the  mermaid.  "I  was  not 
half  through  and  have  confided  in  no  one."  Receiving  merely 
a  stony  stare  for  a  reply,  I  added,  "What's  the  use,  if  our 
greatest  services  are  of  so  little  importance?" 

I  am  sure  I  must  have  had  some  hidden  enemies,  who,  by 
their  expressions,  reflected  upon  my  usefulness,  for  neither  the 
King  nor  a  single  member  of  his  Court  ever  said  a  word  to  me 
on  this  important  subject. 

Being  dispirited  from  toil,  and  somewhat  overcome  by 
failure  and  mortification,  also  feeling  that  malicious  accusa- 
tions had  been  devised  by  enemies  to  prejudice  the  mind  of  the 
King  against  me,  I  had  about  decided  to  leave  the  Jewel  City, 
continue  my  travels  and  possibly  add  to  my  discoveries;  but 
hearing  a  loud  voice  I  turned  to  my  right  and  perceived  a 
courtier  speaking  in  a  voice  many  degrees  louder  than  a 
speaking  trumpet.  I  soon  understood  that  some  further  enter- 
tainment had  been  provided  for  me.  I  judged  that  my  mild- 
ness and  long  suffering  had  impressed  the  King,  and  I  took 
every  conceivable  method  to  cultivate  this  favorable  im- 
pression. 


Page 
Eloven 


It  appeared  that  the  King  desired  to  entertain  me  with  some 
of  his  country's  shows,  which  were  said  to  surpass  those  of  all 
other  nations.  I  was  diverted  with  none  so  much  as  some  races 
in  queer  sorts  of  chariots,  such  as  I  had  never  seen,  for  while 
driven  by  men  I  do  truthfully  maintain  they  were  drawn 
neither  by  horses  or  any  other  beast,  yet  went  at  a  terrific 
speed.  I  believed  this  sport  must  be  practiced  only  by  people 
who  had  been  trained  in  this  art  from  their  youth,  and  were 
candidates  for  high  favor  at  Court. 

To  show  to  what  an  extent  my  comfort  was  considered,  I 
frequently  heard  people  shout,  "Rest-a!"  "Rest-a!"  I  an- 
swered politely  that  I  was  not  at  all  tired  and  kept  on  the  wing. 

The  King  also  ordered  that  part  of  his  army  with  quarters 
in  and  about  his  metropolis  to  entertain  me,  which  was  done 
most  pleasantly,  and  I  witnessed  the  best  military  discipline  I 
had  ever  imagined. 

In  "Overlooking  the  City"  I  found  it  to  be  crescent  shaped 
and  situated  on  the  shores  of  a  large  bay.  The  palaces  were 
interspersed  with  great  open  courts,  the  three  largest,  and 
which  I  deemed  the  most  important,  ran  north  and  south 
through  the  central  group.  The  streets,  courts,  and  palaces 
were  so  crowded  that  I  thought  I  had  never  dreamed  of  so 
populous  a  city. 

I  flew  with  much  circumspection    through  a  stupendous 


BIRD'S-EYE    VIEW    OF    THE    NORTHERN    ENTRANCE    TO    THE 
COURT    OF    THE    UNIVERSE. 

arcade  at  the  base  of  the  "Tower  of  Jewels,"  and  passed  very 
gently  from  the  South  Garden  into  the  Court  of  the  Universe. 
In  the  center  of  the  Court  was  a  beautiful  sunken  garden  sur- 


Page 
Twelve 


rounded  by  benches  so  that  a  goodly  number  of  people  could 
sit  and  enjoy  the  beauties  of  this,  the  largest  and  most  im- 
posing of  the  courts.  There  were  groupings  of  strange  looking 
figures,  fauns,  satyrs,  and  nymphs,  I  heard  them  called,  and 
resolved  to  look  up  their  nationality  when  I  could  do  so  with- 
out exposing  my  ignorance. 

To  the  West  I  went  through  an  immense  arch  into  the 


"Court  of  the  Four  Seasons."  In  each  of  the  four  corners  of 
this  Court  niches  were  cut  into  the  encircling  palaces,  where 
there  were  paintings  and  figures  representing  Spring,  Summer, 
Autumn,  and  Winter.  In  the  center  of  the  Court  was  a  group 
of  figures ;  one  of  these  was  a  lady  called  "Ceres."  I  looked  up 
her  history  and  found  she  was  the  "Goddess  of  Agriculture," 
engaged  in  dispensing  the  bounties  of  nature. 

One  night  I  passed  to  the  East  from  the  "Court  of  the 
Universe"  into  the  "Court  of  Abundance."  Immediately  I  felt 
myself  to  be  under  a  mystic  spell.  There  were  large  urns 
filled  with  a  boiling,  steaming  mass  of  color,  which  I  believed 
must  be  tended  by  creatures  other  than  of  this  earth. 

While  flying  one  day  on  the  Harbor  side  of  the  city,  I 
had  a  very  bad  scare.  I  looked  up  just  in  time,  for  there  stood 
a  man  with  a  bow,  the  arrow  ready  to  discharge,  aimed  straight 
at  my  left  eye. 

"Don't  shoot;  don't  shoot!"  I  cried;  "don't  you  know  it's 
a  penal  offense?" 

I  suppose  I  may  be  blamed  for  a  rambling  disposition, 
but  my  desire  for  seeing  the  world  was  whetted  by  glimpses  of 
"The  States"  I  had  obtained  in  my  numerous  flights.  There- 


Page 

Thirteen 


fore  one  morning  about  a  fortnight  after  my  ar- 
rival I  determined  to  extend  my  travels  and  leave 
further  description  of  the  Jewel  City  until  my 
return. 

At  the  risk  of  being  considered  vain  I  cannot 
but  record  the  attention  and  admiration  I  received 
as  I  slowly  and  majestically  rose  to  take  my  de- 
parture. I  spread  my  wings,  then  hovered, 
neither  advancing  nor  receding.  I  dropped  to  the 
ground,  then  rose  again ;  I  manipulated  my  "wing- 
warping"  so  well  that  my  balance  was  perfect, 
and  the  multitude  below  looked  on  in  rapt  admira- 
tion as  I  hung  suspended  with  "no  visible  means 
of  support."  I  drifted  back,  then  glided  ahead. 
Having  thus  prepared,  and  all  things  being  well, 
I  "set  sail"  for  the  West. 

I  shall  not  trouble  to  relate  the  particulars 
of  this  voyage,  for  they  were  insignificant,  though 
being  of  a  serious  turn  of  mind  they  served  to 
enlarge  my  thoughts  and  imagination. 

"The  States"  were  more  "United"  than  I 
thought.  I  was  somewhat  surprised  that  they 
covered  so  small  an  area.  I  had  provided  myself 
with  a  map,  but  must  admit  I  found  it  very  puzzling,  as  it  in 
no  way  corresponded  with  the  location  of  "The  States"  as  I 
found  them.  I  could  not  but  conclude  that  the  geographers 
were  in  error  and  ought  to  correct  their  maps,  wherein  I  should 
be  very  glad  to  lend  them  my  assistance. 

I  determined  to  see  as  much  of  this  section  of  the  world 
as  possible,  for  two  reasons :  first,  I  had  fully  determined  to 
visit  the  foreign  countries,  and  believed  I  should  become 
acquainted  with  my  own  first;  second,  I  did  not  want  the  in- 
habitants to  have  reason  to  complain  that  I  had  done  them  an 
injustice  by  a  false  and  inadequate  representation. 

I  passed  very  conveniently  from  one  State  to  another, 
many  of  which  were  divided  only  by  narrow  lanes  and  alleys, 
while  others  were  separated  by  wide  streets.  The  people  had 
evidently  received  notice  of  my  coming,  for  many  of  the  win- 
dows were  left  open  purposely.  Looking  through  these  I 
beheld  the  most  splendid  apartments  I  had  ever  seen.  I  saw 
Governors,  and  others  in  high  authority,  in  their  several 
lodgings,  with  their  chief  attendants  about  them,  many  of 
whom  smiled  pleasantly  upon  me. 

Massachusetts  stood  in  the  center  of  a  street  where  two 
others  met;  from  here  I  determined  to  go  to  California,  and 


CALDER'S 
COLUMN     OF 
PROGRESS. 


Page 
Fourteen 


Page 
Fifteen 


from  there  direct  to  Japan.  My  insatiable  desire  to  see  foreign 
countries  would  not  suffer  me  to  remain  long  in  this  State. 
By  consulting  my  map,  I  concluded  that  geographers  were 
in  great  error  in  supposing  there  was  nothing  but  water  be- 
tween California  and  Japan. 

I  was  more  perplexed  than  ever  by  the  situation  of  the 
foreign  countries,  for  again  they  did  not  in  the  least  resemble 
my  map  of  the  world.  At  last  a  great  light  broke  upon  me ;  I 
had  heard  that  a  number  of  the  mighty  powers  of  Europe  had 
been  engaged  in  a  most  obstinate  war,  and  I  had  also  heard  it 
declared  that  there  would  have  to  be  "A  new  map  of  Europe" 
after  the  cessation  of  the  internecine  disturbance.  I  now  argued 
from  the  amiable,'  even  joyous,  attitude  of  these  countries  that 
the  war  was  over,  and  immediately  a  new  thought  seized  me, 
which,  in  my  humble  opinion,  was  a  very  great  one,  and  which 
should  justly  fill  the  whole  world  with  admiration.  I  resolved 
to  set  about  and  complete  a  new  map  of  Europe  before  my 
return  to  my  own  country. 

The  scene  of  this  whole  voyage  made  so  strong  an  impres- 
sion on  my  mind,  and  is  so  deeply  fixed  in  my  memory,  that  I 
hate  to  omit  a  single  occurrence,  but  must  do  so  for  fear  of 
being  censured  as  tedious.  But  there  is  one  incident  which, 
without  any  affectation  of  learning  or  style,  and  chiefly  because 
of  its  truth,  I  must  relate ! 

I  was  flying  over  some  beautiful  and  highly  colored  houses 


in  China,  when  a  very  richly  and  gayly  attired  native  observed 
me.  I  think  he  must  have  been  the  Emperor,  but  before  I 
could  extend  him  any  salutation  whatever,  he  called  out  very 
loudly,  "Ho-le-ma?"  I  had  an  imperfect  knowledge  of  his 
language,  but  remembered  a  phrase  I  had  learned  from  passen- 
gers on  the  boats,  and  answered  in  a  polite  style  suitable  for 


Page 
Sixteen 


CALIFORNIA   —   MASSACHUSETTS   —  JAPAN 


Page 
Seventeen 


Court,  and  not  otherwise  defective  than  by  a  foreign  accent, 
"Fa-ti-ma?" 

When  he  heard  my  voice  and  knew  what  I  said  to  be 
regular  and  rational,  the  Emperor,  though  he  seemed  as  learned 
as  any  person  in  his  Dominion,  could  not  conceal  his  astonish- 
ment. For  fear  he  would  not  be  satisfied  with  my  account  of 
how  I  came  to  be  in  his  Kingdom,  I  flew  on. 

I  was  deeply  impressed  by  the  beauties  of  all  the  foreign 
countries,  and  should  like  to  give  a  minute  description  of  them, 
but  for  fear  of  being  unjustly  criticized  and  accused  of  en- 
larging, as  many  travelers  are  charged  with,  I  shall  run  to 
the  other  extreme  and  say  nothing,  other  than  that  I  could 
have  lived  happily  in  this  foreign  country  had  not  the  lure  of 
the  "Jewel  City"  been  so  strong. 

I  had  been  exposed  to  several  ridiculous  and  mortifying 
experiences.  I  remember  one  day  when  I  made  an  allusion  to 
some  very  small  trees  growing  in  a  garden  in  Japan.  I  merely 
wanted  to  impart  to  the  gardeners  some  of  MY  knowledge  of 
Horticulture,  and  instruct  them  in  the  cultivation  of  trees, 
whereby  they  might  attain  the  height  of  those  in  the  Jewel 
City.  I  saw  nothing  humorous  in  this,  but  some  of  the  resi- 
dents seemed  to  consider  it  very  funny,  and  apparently  wished 
me  to  understand  that  they  considered  their  knowledge  super- 
ior to  mine  inasmuch  as  they  knew  how  to  keep  their  trees 
small. 

Knowing  of  the  friendly  relations  existing  between  Japan 
and  California,  I  directed  my  return  course  straight  for  that 
State. 

My  journey  was  without  adventure  or  accident  worth 
relating.  From  California  I  at  once  continued  on  my  way,  for 
I  felt  it  would  be  no  disagreeable  amusement  to  be  once  more 
in  the  "Jewel  City." 

Again  notice  must  have  been  given  of  my  return,  for  a 
concert  was  being  held  at  Court,  and  I  am  confident  that  all 
the  drums  and  trumpets  of  a  royal  army  were  beating  and 
sounding  together  as  I  flew  straight  on  to  the  Lagoon  at  the 
east  end  of  the  Great  South  Garden.  I  was  sure  I  caught  a 
joyous  look  in  the  eye  of  the  dignified  mermaid. 

Being  of  an  active  and  restless  disposition,  after  a  few 
days  rest  I  again  felt  an  overpowering  desire  to  travel. 

I  heard  a  great  many  people  talking  about  the  "Zone." 
Fearing  they  did  not  understand  the  real  importance  of  the 
subject,  I  was  tempted  to  tell  them  that  the  "Zone"  was  a 
strip  of  territory  which  the  United  States  had  purchased  from 
Panama,  also  that  a  great  ditch,  or  canal,  had  been  dug  across 


Page 
Eighteen 


the  Isthmus  of  Panama  as  a  repository  for  water  in  order  that 
ships  might  pass  from  one  ocean  to  the  other.  However,  not 
wishing  to  be  considered  pedantic,  and  being  averse  to  an 
accusation  of  affectation,  I,  with  a  great  amount  of  tact  and 
delicacy,  maintained  a  discreet  silence. 

I  found  the  Zone  well  inhabited.    I  conjectured  that  these 
people   were    not   all  "workers"  on  the  "Big  Ditch,"  for  hun- 


LOOKIXG    EAST    OX    THE     "ZONE." 

dreds  of  every  color  and  nationality,  some  in  holiday  attire, 
others  fantastically  garbed,  were  leisurely  strolling  up  and 
down  the  main  thoroughfare,  which  was  a  broad  street  on  each 
side  of  which  were  cities,  walled  towns  and  villages. 

Here  again  I  found  Historians  and  Geographers  to  be  in 
error,  for  instead  of  the  Zone  being  ten  miles  wide  and  fifty 
miles  long,  as  I  had  repeatedly  heard  that  it  was,  I  found  it 
by  actual  measurement  to  be  just  3,000  feet  long,  and  its  entire 
area  I  found  comprised  sixty-five  acres. 

I  visited  many  historical  and  well-known  places,  and  was 
surprised  at  the  proximity  of  the  "Grand  Canyon  of  Arizona" 
and  "Yellowstone  Park"  to  the  "Panama  Canal." 

I  had  heard  that  many  years  ago  other  projectors  had 
planned  this  Canal,  but  after  employing  a  great  many  men  for 
a  long  period  the  work  miscarried.  I  am  a  great  admirer  of 
projects,  and  have  a  most  enterprising  spirit,  therefore  I  spent 
a  considerable  time  noting  the  details  of  the  Panama  Canal. 
After  due  consideration.  I  arrived  at  the  conclusion,  from  its 


Page 
Nineteen 


harmonious  workings,  that  the  Canal  was  completed,  and,  for 
the  benefit  of  my  people  who  had  no  means  of  ascertaining  this 
fact,  I  jotted  the  same  down  in  my  note  book. 

On  all  sides  of  the  Zone  I  saw  sights  which  I  hardly  dare 
hope  will  obtain  belief.  However,  they  can  be  attested  by 
millions.  I  saw  animals  whose  behavior  was  so  orderly,  so 
rational  and  so  ingenious,  that  it  seemed  to  me  that  a  people 
who  could  so  far  civilize  dumb  creatures,  must  needs  excel  in 
wisdom  all  other  nations  of  the  world. 

I  had  reached  a  scientific  solution  of  many  strange  phe- 
nomena which  I  had  observed  on  the  Zone,  but  jealousy  is  so 
common  everywhere  that  I  was  never  asked  for  the  result  of 
my  researches.  I  had  also  escaped  from  many  perilous  situa- 
tions, which  inspired  me  with  a  strong  impulse  to  return  to 
my  native  country.  My  "tour  of  the  world"  was  completed. 
Somewhere  I  had  heard  the  phrase,  "The  world  is  not  so  big 
after  all."  I  had  always  believed  to  the  contrary,  this  belief 
being  strengthened,  no  doubt,  by  the  natural  propensity  of 
many  persons  to  exaggerate.  I  must  now  speak  frankly  and 

confess,  that  while  my 
desire  for  travel  and 
discovery  was  not  ap- 
peased, I  feared  there 
was  nothing  more  for 
me  to  see. 

I  shall  never  forget 
my  sensation  when  I 
looked  up  and  saw 
"Toy  Land."  Here  was 
a  new  country,  and  I 
believed  myself  to  be 
the  discoverer,  for  the 
entrance  was  guarded 
by  two  soldiers  of  such 
an  immense  height  and 
severe  demeanor,  that 
I  was  sure  they  had  never  given  access  to  their  Dominion  to 
people  from  any  other  country. 

What  I  supposed  to  be  the  King's  palace  was  not  a  reg- 
ular structure,  but  a  heap  of  buildings,  which  my  knowledge 
of  mathematics  enabled  me  to  see  were  very  ill-built.  Many 
of  the  walls  were  not  perpendicular.  This  defect  must  have 
arisen  from  the  lack  of  knowledge  of  the  inhabitants  of  prac- 
tical geometry,  so  that  the  instructions  they  gave  to  their 
workmen  caused  endless  mistakes.  Imagination,  fancy,  and 


Page 
Twenty 


invention  seemed  to  have  run  riot  here,  rather  than  practical 
actions  and  conduct  in  life. 

I  think  I  must  have  behaved  strangely,  for  I  almost  felt 
that  I  had  lost  my  wits.  I  had  never  dreamed  of  a  race,  human 
and  animal,  so  singular  both  in  shape  and  countenance.  Many 
had  their  heads  reclined  either  to  the  right  or  left,  some  had 
their  eyes  turned  inward,  others  directly  up  to  the  heavens. 
Their  outward  garments  were  of  the  brightest  hues,  many  of 
them  cleverly  interwoven  with  spoons,  fiddles,  and  other 
articles  hitherto  unknown  to  me. 

I  concluded  that  the  minds  of  these  people  must  be  taken 
up  with  intense  speculations,  for  they  neither  spoke,  nor 
attended  to  the  discourse  of  others.  However,  their  behavior 
was  so  reasonable  and  methodical  that  I  concluded  they  must 
be  magicians  who  had  some  purpose  in  thus  transforming 
themselves,  or  perhaps,  they  were  merely  amazed  at  the  sight 
of  me. 

I  felt  that  I  could  not  do  justice  to  the  strange  animals, 
plants  and  trees  which  I  saw  on  all  sides,  and  to  my  mind  it 
was  evident  that  nature  in  the  production  of  such  extraordinary 
shapes  and  bulk,  had  confined  herself  wholly  to  this  queer  coun- 
try. The  reason  of  which  I  leave  to  be  determined  by  Philos- 
ophers other  than  myself. 

I  now  felt  that  I  had  rendered  myself  invaluable,  and  had 
performed  services  so  eminent,  and  adorned  with  such  honor 
and  integrity,  that  I  might  justly  be  ranked  with  such  dis- 
coverers as  Columbus.  Balboa,  and  Doctor  Cook. 

In  keeping  a  faithful  record  of  the  sights  I  had  seen,  the 
customs  and  manners  of  the  people  in  the  many  countries  I 
had  visited,  I  had  conceived  that  my  own  people  who  had  not 
enjoyed  the  privilege  of  travel  would  be  anxious  to  have  an 
account  of  mine.  It  was  my  determination  to  employ  my 
thoughts  for  the  improvement  of  my  race,  and  give  to  them 
through  the  medium  of  our  home  paper,  "The  Beak-on  Light," 
the  result  of  my  travels  and  wonderful  discovery. 

I  went  back  to  the  "Hotel-de-Lagoona,"  liquidated  my 
bill,  and  as  I  bade  the  mermaid  adieu,  I  distinctly  saw  great 
tears  falling  from  her  eyes  and  splashing  into  the  Lake  below. 
About  eleven  o'clock  while  I  was  still  maturing  my  plans  for 
home-going  I  observed  a  wild  rush  toward  a  place  called  the 
"49  Camp."  I  was  not  sure  whether  a  register  of  my  birth 
had  been  preserved,  and  without  it  could  form  no  definite 
idea  of  my  age,  but  as  I  saw  many  who  I  was  sure  were  either 
older  or  younger  than  myself.  I  concluded  that  a  certificate  of 
birth  was  not  necessary  to  gain  admittance  to  the  "49  Camp." 


Page 
Twenty-one 


As  I  entered,  I  found  everyone  gesticulating,  and  talking 
about  GOLD.  I  immediately  arrived  at  the  conclusion  that 
I  had  discovered  a  gold  mine,  about  which  I  had  frequently 
heard.  Many  people  were  paying  for  pans,  and  sifting  sand  in 
search  of  gold.  Having  long  practiced  frugality,  I  went  directly 
to  work  scratching  in  the  sand,  believing  that  I  was  "locating 
my  claim." 

Very  soon  I  saw  something  glistening  in  the  sunlight. 
Unaccustomed  to  the  sight  of  gold.  I  was  not  sure  it  was  not 
a  kernel  of  corn,  but  as  I  had  not  breakfasted,  I  greedily 
swallowed  it.  Then  a  queer  thing  happened;  immediately  I 
was  seized  with  an  illness  the  like  of  which  I  had  never  experi- 
enced; my  memory  deserted  me,  I  forgot  all  the  things  I 
had  cared  most  about,  I  lost  all  desire  for  learning,  science, 
philosophy,  and  renown.  I  was  trembling  with  excitement, 
and  my  body  was  consumed  as  with  an  inward  fire.  All  at 
once  I  realized  my  state!  I  had  heard  that  there  was  danger 
of  contagion  in  crowds,  and  I  knew  I  had  caught  the  "gold 
fever."  All  ennui  was  gone;  feverishly  I  scratched,  resolved 
for  once  to  "get  my  fill  of  gold."  Again  envy  and  jealousy 
were  directed  toward  me,  for  some  one  called  out,  angrily, 
"Drive  that  gull  out  of  here,  he's  getting  all  the  gold." 

Evidently  I  had  not  substantiated  my  "claim"  and  I  tried 
to  rise,  but  found  it  hard.  As  I  redoubled  my  efforts,  I  heard 
some  one  in  passing  say,  "There'll  be  heavy  crops  this  year, 
owing  to  the  rain."  It  must  be  the  rain,  I  thought.  My  strug- 
gles caused  a  great  deal  of  merriment;  two  men  standing  near 
were  laughing  uproariously.  "Guess  he  never  heard  Mark 
Twain's  story  of  the  'jumping  frog.'"  one  of  them  said.  My 
eyes  filled  with  tears  of  anger  and  mortification.  I  was  no 
"croaker"  and  did  not  care  to  be  likened  to  a  frog,  and  could 
see  no  reason  for  a  "jumping"  one  being  considered  so  ludi- 
crous. 

I  had  heard  of  people  who  had  "more  gold  than  they 
knew  what  to  do  with,"  and  I  now  found  myself  in  that  pre- 
dicament. Good  fortune  came  to  my  rescue,  for  as  in  answer 
to  my  thoughts  came  the  query :  "What  are  you  going  to  do 
with  your  gold?"  "Oh,  I  guess  I'll  take  it  to  the  mint,"  came 
a  laughing  reply.  This  was  beyond  my  wildest  hopes  for  I 
knew  of  an  excellent  bed  of  mint  on  the  islands,  and  I  could 
now  return  with  wealth,  added  to  glory  and  renown. 

Due  to  an  uncomfortable  heaviness  in  my  breast,  I  was 
"flying  low,"  when  I  observed  a  number  of  what  looked  to 
be  my  own  tribe  on  a  large  green  sward  at  no  consider- 
able distance  from  the  "Jewel  City."  As  I  drew  near  I 


Page 
Twenty-two 


observed  something  familiar  about  the  flock,  but  was  never- 
theless surprised  when  a  number  called  out  in  unison,  and 
with  amazing  familiarity: 

"Hello,  Cap,  so  you've  concluded  to  'come  down'  and  be 
one  of  us,  have  you?" 

I  drew  myself  up  with  dignity,  but  had  the  curiosity  to 
inquire  in  a  particular  manner  how  such  great  numbers  hap- 
pened to  be  "over."  Thinking  possibly  the  report  that  I  had 
arrived  might  have  reached  them,  and  that  they  had  come  out 
of  curiosity  to  see  me,  I  said  as  much. 

"Oh.  no,"  they  answered  with  a  degree  of  flippancy  entirely 
uncalled  for,  "we  come  over  to  the  Exposition  every  day; 
Great  Show,  hey  Cap?" 


Page 
Twentv-three 


"I  don't  quite  understand  you,"  I  said,  with  a  smile  of  pity 
at  their  ignorance.  "I  am  now  a  traveller,  I  have  seen  ALL 
THE  WORLD,  I  have  also  discovered  a  new  Land,  and  have 
located  a  gold  mine,  since  I  saw  you."  As  they  seemed  to  have 
no  curiosity,  I  modestly  continued,  and  told  them  of  the  pleas- 
ure I  had  experienced  in  seeing  the  various  States  and  Empires. 
I  enlarged  upon  many  other  topics  with  the  natural  desire  to 
be  entertaining.  When  I  paused  there  was  a  good  deal  of 
chatter  among  them  as  well  as  some  laughter,  which  I  felt  to 
be  at  my  expense. 

After  a  silence  of  a  few  seconds  one  of  them  told  me  that 
his  friends  and  mine,  as  I  believed  them  to  be,  were  very  much 
pleased  with  my  remarks  and  were  desirous  of  hearing  more 
of  my  travels. 

I  answered  that  it  was  easy  to  be  eloquent  on  so  copious  a 
subject,  and  I  freely  own  that  it  gave  me  inexpressible  delight 
to  give  this  account,  also  I  could  not  forbear  falling  into  ex- 
pressions, perhaps  a  little  too  extravagant,  as  I  described  the 
ancient  cities  and  obscure  villages  I  had  visited.  I  also  men- 
tioned the  fact  of  having  gone  "by  land"  from  California  to 
Japan. 

This  speech  produced  loud  laughter  and  they  seemed  to 
consider  that  I  was  there  merely  to  furnish  them  with  some 
ridiculous  story. 

At  this,  a  young  gull,  who,  as  he  appeared  anxious  to 
right  my  wrongs,  I  shall  call  Redressal,  proved  himself  my 
true  friend,  and  commanded  the  noisy  tribe  to  subside.  He 
bade  me  continue  and  listened  with  great  attention,  frequently 
taking  notes  of  what  I  said,  as  well  as  memoranda  of  ques- 
tions he  intended  asking  me. 

I  told  him  that  I  estimated  the  people  who  had  visited  me 
to  be  among  the  millions.  I  did  not  omit  the  splendid  enter- 
tainment I  had  received  at  the  hands  of  the  King  and  his  court 
on  the  first  day  after  my  arrival  at  the  Jewel  City. 

"What  day  was  that?"  a  young  gull  asked,  with  a  certain 
amount  of  pertness. 

I  felt  that  I  had  descended  upon  a  court  of  justice,  being 
thus  subjected  to  queries,  doubts,  and  objections,  but  answered 
with  my  usual  dignity  and  precision  that  it  was  the  20th  day 
of  February,  1915. 

"The  day  the  big  Exposition  opened,"  the  noisy  crowd 
shouted,  but  they  were  immediately  curbed  by  Redressal,  who, 
after  consulting  his  notes,  said  that  he  desired  to  set  me  right 
in  a  few  mistakes  I  had  made,  and  which  I  had  evidently  fallen 


Page 
Twenty-four 


into  through  the  common  fault  of  our  race,  and  upon  that  con- 
sideration, was  less  answerable  for  them. 

In  reply  to  my  query  as  to  what  I  was  supposed  to  deduce 
from  this  remarkable  statement,  I  was  reminded  of  the  fact 
that  I  was  a  GULL. 

Redressal  then  desired  me  to  know  that  what  I  had  re- 
garded as  "The  whole  world,"  was  in  reality  a  "Fair" — an 
"Exposition." 

My  leniency  toward  his  lack  of  wisdom  forbade  my  doing 
more  than  to  shake  my  head,  "for,"  I  said,  "I  have  frequently 
heard  wise  and  learned  men  say,  that  'the  whole  world  is 
here.'  " 


VIEW  OF  EXHIBIT  PALACES  FROM  TOWER  OF  JEWELS. 

1 — Machinery.       2 — Varied    Industries.       3 — Mines    and    Metallurgy. 

4 — Manufactures.       5 — Transportation.      6 — Court    of    Abundance. 

"That  is  true,"  he  said,  "for  this  is  the  greatest  Exposition 
ever  known,  and  the  whole  world  comes  to  see  it." 

I  assured  him  how  desirous  I  was  to  be  set  right  on  every 
point,  and  asked  if  it  were  possible  for  him  to  explain  the  object 
and  uses  of  the  many  palaces  I  had  seen,  if,  as  he  intimated, 
they  were  NOT  the  abode  of  Royalty. 

He  said  he  would  briefly  give  me  a  summary  of  the  most 
material  points  of  this  great  Exposition.  He  discoursed  upon 
trade  and  manufactures,  on  art  and  science;  but  I  shall  only 
set  down  the  substance  of  what  passed  between  us.  He  called 
my  wondrous  palaces  "Exhibit  palaces,"  and  gave  to  each  a 
name  as  follows:  Mines  and  Metallurgy.  Transportation, 
Agriculture,  Food  Products,  Education  and  Social  Economy, 


Page 
Twenty-five 


EASTERN  ENTRANCE,  PALACE  OF  VARIED  INDUSTRIES. 

Liberal  Arts,  Manufactures,  and  Varied  Industries.  The  joined 
walls  of  these  palaces  formed  a  parallelogram,  which,  he  said, 
was  flanked  on  one  side  by  the  massive  semi-circular  Palace 
of  Fine  Arts,  and  on  the  other  by  Machinery  Palace. 

I  now  had  a  greater  respect  than  ever  for  Redressal,  for 
he  had  shown  that  he  had  a  good  understanding  of  mathe- 
matics, and  in  order  to  prove  that  I  was  not  opinionated,  and 
as  truth  always  forces  its  way  into  rational  minds,  I  shall  so 
far  do  justice  to  this  youth  as  to  acknowledge  that  ALL  of 
his  views  did  not  appear  to  be  visionary,  and  I  was  convinced 
of  the  veracity  of  at  least  a  part  of  his  explanation. 

The  inquiry  lasted  several  hours,  and  I  was  rallied  upon 
my  "Tour  of  the  World."  Redressal  told  me  that  "The  States." 
and  foreign  countries  were  merely  representative  of  courtesies 
and  relations  and  were  here  to  participate  in  an  International 
and  Universal  Exposition  in  celebration  of  the  great  physical 
performance  of  building  the  Panama  Canal. 

"Oh,  yes,  I  forgot  to  tell  you  that  the  Canal  is  completed. 
I  have  visited  the  Zone  and  found  the  Canal  in  perfect  working 
order."  I  said  this  simply,  and  without  any  affectation  of  style, 
or  language,  for  while  firmly  convinced  that  at  least  THIS  part 
of  my  story  would  carry  weight,  I  did  not  want  to  appear 
bombastic. 

Nevertheless  there  was  a  great  deal  of  hissing  and  hooting 
among  this  disrespectful  tribe,  which  even  the  respect  due 
Redressal  could  not  make  them  repress. 

I  smothered  my  resentment,  and  Redressal  with  a  great 
amount  of  patience  explained  that  the  Canal  I  had  seen  was 
a  "model"  and  the  Zone  a  vast  amusement  concession. 

The  flock  could  no  longer  be  kept  within  bounds,  for, 
they  said,  "We  can't  stay  away  from  the  Exposition  any  longer, 


Page 
Twentv-six 


Cap ;  and  you  had  better  quit  trying  to  be  a  'higher  up,'  let  the 
Fair  alone,  and  go  back  to  the  Farallones." 

I  paid  no  attention,  but  flew  over  to  the  "Marina,"  a  broad 
esplanade  which  parallels  the  bay  for  a  great  distance.  Flying 
slowly  back  and  forth,  I  thought  long  and  carefully  over  what 
I  had  heard,  as  I  reflected  how  ineffectual  it  is  for  a  person 
to  attempt  to  do  himself  honor  among  those  who  are  out  of  all 
degree  of  comparison  with  him. 


And  far  away  on  the  horizon  a  Sea  Gull  was  heard  repeat- 
ing to  himself:  "Exposition" — "Exposition" — "The  Greatest 
Exposition  Ever  Known!" 


Page 
Twenty-seven 


UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA  LIBRARY 
BERKELEY 

Return  to  desk  from  which  borrowed. 
This  book  is  DUE  on  the  last  date  stamped  below. 


21-100»i-9,'47(A5702sl6)476 


29Apr'62JW 
fcEC'D  LD 

APR  30 1962 


RECEIVED 

MAY  I  5  1996 

CIRCULATION  DEPT. 


AU3  1  0  1960 


I  6  1982 


.GL    JUL22U 
SENT  ON  ILL 

JAN  0  7  1995 

U.  C.  BERKELEY 


NOV  2  6  1999 


OCT  08  2001 

u-  C. 


